Circle The Wagons | 5 Ways to Receive Support During Cancer Treatment
Circle The Wagons
5 Ways to Receive Support During Cancer Treatment
Getting a cancer diagnosis is overwhelming on every front. Every single one. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically.
When you decide to share this with your wider community, there enters another dynamic to navigate as well. People often want to support you, and don’t know how. People are curious about your situation, and may not know how to navigate their concern. Well meaning people may say dumb things, bless their hearts. So how can you circle the wagons of support as wide as possible while also maintaining healthy boundaries and looking out for yourself and your closest people? It’s not as easy as it sounds!
I found several things to be game changers for this.
Share your story in one place. Caringbridge
When you get news and updates, it starts to get exhausting sharing it over and over again. You forget who you told, and you get tired of hearing yourself talk. Even for the people nearest and dearest to you, who you actually want to know everything.
Caringbridge is a free software that allows you to share updates in a blog-like journal format. People who want to follow along can subscribe to your caringbridge and be notified every time you post. When I was going through treatment this was a game changer for me. I am a verbal processor, so no surprise here, I found my caringbridge to be so therapeudic! I was encouraged as my community rallied to support me in prayer and written encouragement. Highly recommend you start one!
Let your community feed you. Mealtrain
Treatment is exhausting. It’s physically intense. And while you might not be up for eating much, it is such a relief to have something like meal planning taken off your plate. You can set your dates and your preferences. I set my mealtrain availability for four days a week during my weekly infusions. It meant so much to my family to be on the receiving end of a long-haul meal train.
So put it out there! Be as specific as you can be with your likes and dislikes. Give some takeout options. And share it to your social platforms or community networks. There are people who want to help but dont know how, and providing a meal is actually so helpful!
Lean on your care team. Call that nurse!
My first week of treatment was physically brutal. Turns out it was more brutal than it needed to be. I thought it was just par for the course. But when I talked to my side effect nurse Jen, she lovingly and kindly laid down the law. They have many ways of adjusting meds to make side effects more bearable, but they cannot help you if you do not let them know what is going on. So, don’t be tempted to grit and bear it. Whatever you are feeling, share it with your care team to receive all the support they have at their disposal.
Process your big feelings often. Hit up a counselor.
I am obsessed with my counselor. I tell her this regularly. She is one of the best gifts of my adult life. I developed a strong relationship with her long before getting diagnosed with cancer. But I leaned on her in this journey. To have a space to process what is under the surface is critical. And to do so with someone trusted to help is priceless. If you don’t have a counselor at this time, I promise its worth the hunt to find one. If you don’t click with a perspective counselor, try again. Ask your circles for recommendations or referrals. This is a must have.
The mental, emotional and spiritual side of cancer is a long-haul marathon. It is one that doesn’t end even when treatment does. Having tools, guidance, and leadership for this journey is critical my friend. Don’t sleep on this.
Reach out to others who get it.
Cancer is a unique club, especially as a young person. Finding other people who understand what you have been through is a unique kind of comfort. Social media can make this easier, although nothing compares to real-life presence. A support group through you cancer center could be the way to cultivate this. However, if you are not struggling you may end up around more people who are in a formal support group. So just check in with yourself first. You may be at a place to check something out, or you may not be. Ask your care team if there is anyone they would connect you with. It is worth the work of initiating and showing up for coffee with someone who gets it.